First Person: Finding Purpose as a Former Student Athlete
For my entire life, all I've known is sports. In high school, I was a three-sport athlete. I was used to clicking on my football helmet in the fall, lacing up my skates in the winter, and tying up my cleats for lacrosse in the spring.
When I first came to St. Lawrence, I left my athletic career behind and was thrilled to start a new life at a new school with new activities and new friends. I felt prepared, but also nervous. I would be losing the structure and everyday adrenaline rush of rigorous practices, the framework of the last 12 years of my life.
As I said, I was excited, but the idea of no sports was daunting. During my first year, I made good friends and enjoyed my classes, but I felt that I didn't have anything productive going on. I had very few responsibilities, if any, other than schoolwork, playing some club hockey, and finding time for three meals a day. With so much free time, I struggled to get things done. It was an unfamiliar routine, and although I wasn’t unhappy, I struggled to find purpose.
By sophomore year, the Saints women’s hockey team had changed everything. As a member of the men’s club hockey team, I, along with three other players, was invited to become a practice player for the women’s team. After filling in some paperwork, we were officially part of the team roster, and the four of us would join practices twice a week.
I’m not sure if it is the puck drop, the sounds of the blades on the ice, or the excitement when the goal siren goes off, but being in a hockey rink as part of a team is a welcomed routine."
Twice a week might not seem like a large commitment, but it quickly turned my St. Lawrence experience around. I had a sport again. For me, it was perfect. I found comfort in the familiar surroundings—a smelly locker room, on-ice banter, and everything else that comes with hockey, my favorite sport. But the main reason this changed my college life was that I finally had a familiar routine again.
Unfortunately, the COVID-19 pandemic put a damper on our ability to practice, but being “on the team” continued to help me build amazing relationships with the players and coaches. During my junior year, eating meals with the team at The Pub or watching NHL games on TV replaced the canceled practices and solidified some of my closest friendships.
Head Coach Chris Wells and Assistant Coach Mare MacDougall Bari have become two of my most valued mentors at St. Lawrence, supervising my for-credit internship assisting the team with stats, and helping me learn more about the administrative side behind the scenes of competitive hockey.
By senior year, most Fridays and Saturdays you could find me in the Appleton Arena Press Box, Pub Cookie on one side of me, and a computer on the other. “Pass!” I would yell between cookie bites while keeping track of who was on the ice in precise increments. I’m not sure if it is the puck drop, the sounds of the blades on the ice, or the excitement when the goal siren goes off, but being in a hockey rink as part of a team is a welcomed routine.
