Incest Perpetrators and Child Development:
The Fun House Mirror of Development-Using
Shame as a Tool of Distortion
Diana Gotham
Dr. Pamela Thacher, Faculty Mentor
McNair Summer 2005 Research
Previous studies have investigated shame as an outcome of abuse. This paper offers a new perspective, theorizing that shame is first used by the perpetrator as a tool to better control the survivor before, during and after the sexual abuse incident/s. The trust bond that is inherent in incestuous relationships is corrupted during normal development by combining elements of shame felt by the incest survivor to create complex emotional reactions to the abuse. One important outcome is that strong barriers are thereby created against discussing the sexual abuse. Verbal statements and physical actions by perpetrators are intended as shame tactics, whose purpose is to deflect responsibility for the incest onto the survivor, and to create an environment of helplessness and powerlessness for the survivor. Furthermore, incest survivors have been known to keep the secret of their abuse for many decades if they ever tell at all. Deeply embedded feelings of shame are largely responsible for this secrecy; by understanding more about how shame is used initially as a tool, and how it is transformed into an outcome, more can be understood about why incest survivors can be trapped into behaviors that are destructive and dysfunctional.