Son or Daughter Returning from Study Abroad? Get Ready for a Shock
St. Lawrence University Offers Advice, Tips on Easing Re-Entry

Your son or daughter just finished studying in another country for a semester or a year, and you're so excited to have them return home! So, who's that stranger sitting across from you at the dinner table?

According to St. Lawrence University Director of Off-Campus Programs Nancy Pierce, the shock of "re-entry" after foreign study can be rough on both college students and their parents. Pierce sends letters to parents who are about to welcome their students home, offering helpful information and advice on what can be a rocky time.

If you find yourself not quite knowing how to handle the situation, it may help to know that you're not alone. Despite – or perhaps because of – daily news reports about international tensions and conflicts, American college students are more interested in studying abroad than ever before. The numbers of American students studying in another country during their college careers has increased some 126 percent since 1991, according to the Institute of International Education, and it is estimated that about 170,000 college students study abroad annually.

At St. Lawrence, in Canton, New York, about 40 percent of its 2,000 students study abroad at some time during their undergraduate careers; the University operates or participates in programs in 14 countries.

Pierce says, "Typically, parents are surprised by how much their children have grown and changed during their study abroad. Many notice increased independence and self-confidence. But, whereas for parents and family the homecoming brings feelings of relief and happiness, students themselves have very mixed feelings about their return to the U.S. and, later, to campus. On the one hand, they've missed family and friends, and have been looking forward to coming home to all that is familiar. On the other hand, they know they'll miss what they're leaving and they're worried about fitting in again at home and at school."

Some people, Pierce says, call this "re-entry" or "reverse culture shock." Others explain it as a continuation of the cultural adjustment that started when the students were preparing to leave on the program and will continue until they integrate what they have experienced into the new person they have become. "It's important that parents – and students – understand that re-entry shock is normal and that it is often more powerful than the culture shock they experienced when they arrived in the foreign country in which they studied," she states.

Why should coming home be so hard? Pierce says that in order to answer that question, parents and students both need understand what "home" means.

"Besides being a place where you are born or raised and where people behave more or less as you do, home is the place where you are known, accepted and understood," Pierce says. "Home is a place where routines are predictable; a place where there are few surprises; a place where you can relax and be yourself. But students often find that they have to adjust to home, and they aren't expecting that. Some find things in the U.S. – and on campus – frustrating and unsettling."

Adding to students' anxieties, according to Pierce, is the common fear that they will forget the sounds, sights, smells, food, habits and friendships from their semester or year abroad. "And life at home and on campus seems unexciting," she adds.

In advising parents about how to deal with re-entry shock in their sons and daughters, Pierce says, "Keep in mind that the phases of reverse culture shock resemble those of culture shock: euphoria and excitement initially, followed by a period of irritation, frustration and anxiety. They'll need a little extra loving care. Listen – really listen – to the stories your son or daughter has. Look at the photos – all the photos. Be patient. And enjoy the reunion!"

For further assistance, Pierce recommends a handbook on the topic created by the School for International Training.